


when it comes to you

by myaimistrue



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Brienne of Tarth is the Best, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, I have a lot of complex feelings about Jaime, Jaime Lannister Redemption, Knight Brienne of Tarth, Winterfell, but I love Brienne so so so much, he does not deserve her so I wrote this about that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:14:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25754176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myaimistrue/pseuds/myaimistrue
Summary: Jaime returns to Winterfell only hours after leaving Brienne, and hopes that he isn't too late.
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Comments: 6
Kudos: 50





	when it comes to you

The gates of Winterfell seemed impossibly high. Jamie’s horse huffed beneath him, and he briefly considered turning around and leaving, finding a ship heading for Essos and putting this entire cursed continent behind him. But he couldn’t. He’d come back for Brienne, and he wasn’t going anywhere until he saw her.

It was only just dawn. He’d barely made it twenty miles out of Winterfell before the echoing of Brienne’s voice begging him not to leave forced him to stop. He’d made a terrible mistake, he knew it, and before he could lose his courage, he turned around to return to her. He couldn’t worry about Cersei anymore.

Jaime tied his horse up, glancing around. Only a few people were awake, milling about and living their lives quietly. They all eyed him with obvious suspicion, and when he lowered the hood of his cloak, the suspicion turned to hate. He was not particularly grateful to be back among people who despised him so.

He wondered if Brienne was awake this early; he imagined she must be, but it had been a long night, and he doubted she’d slept much after he left. The anxiety in the pit of his stomach seemed to tighten. What would he do if she turned him away? He’d made his decision, and going back to Cersei wasn’t an option. Without Brienne, there was no reason for anyone to keep him alive. He really might have to flee to Essos.

He didn’t have to wonder about it very long, as it turned out. He turned down one of the smaller alleys in the maze that was Winterfell when he heard an undeniably familiar voice say, “What are you doing here?”

When he turned, Brienne was looking at him with a rage that he could only describe as murderous. As he noticed her hand firmly gripping her sword in its scabbard, it occurred to him for the very first time, stupidly, that she might just stick Oathkeeper right between his ribs. No one here in Winterfell would blame her, certainly, especially if she told them he’d deserted. Frankly, Jaime didn’t think he would blame her either; it would be some kind of poetic justice, probably.

“I said, what are you doing here?” Brienne repeated. She lifted her chin, and he loved her for that, for her uncompromising strength and composure, even when faced with the man who left her sobbing in darkness only a few hours earlier.

“I made a mistake,” He began, hating how weak his voice sounded. “I should never have left like that. I should never have left you.”

Brienne shook her head, stepping closer to him. “How dare you?”

“I know, but I-”

“Shut your mouth,” She said rawly. He could see that there were tears in her eyes, and her hand was still gripping her sword firmly. “You deserted for that… that horrible woman. You left the queen you were sworn to.” She looked at him with so much loathing that it felt like a punch to the chest. “You broke your oath.”

“I know. I know, but it was a mistake,” Jaime repeated. He felt any hope for reconciliation slipping away from him. “Brienne, I’m not a good man, but I have a chance to be a better one. That chance is here. With you.”

She looked at him incredulously. “What do you think is going to happen? Do you expect me to welcome you back with a kiss? To faint into your arms with gratitude that you decided you didn’t love your sister enough to betray me?”

“Brienne, please-”

“Or, I imagine you thought that I just loved you so desperately that I would find it in me to forgive you.” Brienne continued angrily, moving closer to him. “Is that what you thought?”

“No! No, of course not,” Jaime said. “You don’t owe me anything. But I was… I was wrong, and I’m sorry. I’m more sorry than I could ever explain, and you have to know that.”

“You’re sorry…” Brienne drew her sword and pointed it directly at him, the tip only inches from his neck. He didn’t move, didn’t break eye contact. “I should kill you.”

Jaime dropped to his knees. “Do it, then. I deserve it.” He took a deep breath, and he couldn’t believe what he was about to say. “But I love you, Brienne. If you can give me another chance, I can prove it. I can spend the rest of my miserable life showing you how much.”

“Another chance?” She shook her head, and a single tear spilled down her cheek. She didn’t wipe it away, or even acknowledge it. That vulnerability was nothing compared to the strength of her will. “All I ever do is give you chances, and you  _ always _ let me down. You always make the wrong choice. You always hurt me.”

There was nothing he could say to that. There were no excuses. “I’m so sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter.” She readjusted her sword. 

“I understand.” Jaime kept her gaze. If he was going to die by her hand, he wanted to look into her eyes as it happened. They were the most beautiful, clear blue he’d ever seen in his life. “Make it quick.”

Brienne’s expression was stony, but there was the slightest tremble to her chin. They looked at one another for what seemed like an eternity, until she lowered her sword. Jaime let out a shaky breath and rose to his feet. 

“You aren’t forgiven,” She said coldly, once again the picture-perfect knight. “And you’ll be lucky if I don’t report you as a deserter.”

“I know.” Jaime smiled softly, in spite of himself. “And I know that you’re done with me, but I’m going to keep trying to be a good man. You’re who made me want to; you’re the one who made me realize I even could be. And if you’ll ever have me again… I’ll be waiting.”

Her face betrayed no emotion. She looked at him for a short moment, then turned and quickly walked away. He watched her retreating figure. There was almost no chance he could ever get her to love him again, but he was going to to try. 

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from the song "Lord Knows Best" by Dirty Beaches
> 
> I can't explain everything about how I feel about Jaime Lannister, or how I feel about him and Brienne together, because it would take literally thousands of words. However, I'll say this: Jaime's arc in the show is fascinating because it's this sort of aborted redemption arc that you don't usually see, and it was oddly compelling. That did mean that he and Brienne's relationship got wrecked, which was unfortunate because I like them very much. This little alternate outcome is sort of a fix-it for them but mostly a fix-it for Jaime's redemption arc, because I think I'll always want him to be a better guy then he ended up being. I'd be interested in hearing anybody else's thoughts on this! 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated :)


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